Desires which exist in the self have been put there for specific benefit. Were it not for hunger, one would not eat to survive. Without attraction between men and women there would be no marriages and no children. Desires only become blameworthy when they are excessive or lead one into sin and transgression. There are people who do not understand this distinction and so they attempt to deny the self everything it desires. This is oppression of the nafs (self) and denying of its rights. For it indeed has rights as the Prophet (sas) stated:
"Verily, your nafs has rights over you."
One of them may say, "For this many years I have desired such-and-such but I do not indulge." As long as he is speaking about something halal, this is deviation in the deen with regard to what Allah made lawful and is contrary to the sunna of Allah's Messenger (sas). He (sas) was in the habit of partaking of things he desired such as sweets, honey and other things. So, no attention should be paid to a worshipper who, with little knowledge of the deen, denies himself everything he desires just for its own sake. He is closer in that act to oppression than to justice. Desires only need be denied if the way to them is difficult - if for example acquiring it requires something disliked. (Of course, if acquiring it requires something haraam, it becomes haraam itself.) Or, if one fears from any such indulgence losing his will or coming to "need" or desire it constantly or too much satiation which blocks him from worship of Allah. As for indulging from time to time in order to strengthen the self, that is praiseworthy without doubt, like seeking medicine for illness. Also, there is nothing wrong with going easy on the self in that which is lawful in order to strengthen it on the path.
A Muslim may struggle against his desires until he manages to say away from all sin and disobedience and then believe that he has "succeeded" and is no longer in need of jihad against the self. This is not so. Good character includes all of the attributes of the believer. Allah has described these attributes in the following verses:
الأنفال:
إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ الَّذِينَ إِذَا ذُكِرَ اللَّهُ وَجِلَتْ قُلُوبُهُمْ وَإِذَا تُلِيَتْ عَلَيْهِمْ ءَايَاتُهُ زَادَتْهُمْ إِيمَانًا وَعَلَى رَبِّهِمْ يَتَوَكَّلُونَ(2)الَّذِينَ يُقِيمُونَ الصَّلَاةَ وَمِمَّا رَزَقْنَاهُمْ يُنْفِقُونَ(3)أُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ حَقًّا لَهُمْ دَرَجَاتٌ عِنْدَ رَبِّهِمْ وَمَغْفِرَةٌ وَرِزْقٌ كَرِيمٌ(4){The believers are none others than those who when Allah is mentioned their hearts fear and when His verses are recited to them their faith is increased and upon their lord they place their reliance. (2) Those who establish the prayer and spend of that which We have provided for them. (3) These are the true believers. Theirs are levels [of honor] with their Lord, forgiveness and a gracious sustenance. (4)}
التوبة:
التَّائِبُونَ الْعَابِدُونَ الْحَامِدُونَ السَّائِحُونَ الرَّاكِعُونَ السَّاجِدُونَ الْآمِرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَالنَّاهُونَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ وَالْحَافِظُونَ لِحُدُودِ اللَّهِ وَبَشِّرِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ(112){Those who repent, those who worship, those who fast, those who bow, those who prostrate, those who command all that is good and prohibit all that is bad and those who maintain Allah's boundaries - give glad tidings to the believers.}
المؤمنون:
قَدْ أَفْلَحَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ(1)الَّذِينَ هُمْ فِي صَلَاتِهِمْ خَاشِعُونَ(2)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ عَنِ اللَّغْوِ مُعْرِضُونَ(3)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِلزَّكَاةِ فَاعِلُونَ(4)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ(5)إِلَّا عَلَى أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ(6)فَمَنِ ابْتَغَى وَرَاءَ ذَلِكَ فَأُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْعَادُونَ(7)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِأَمَانَاتِهِمْ وَعَهْدِهِمْ رَاعُونَ(8) وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ عَلَى صَلَوَاتِهِمْ يُحَافِظُونَ(9)أُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْوَارِثُونَ(10)الَّذِينَ يَرِثُونَ الْفِرْدَوْسَ هُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُونَ(11){The believers have succeeded. (1) Those who are fearful and concentrated in their prayers. (2) And those who turn their backs on frivolity. (3) And those who do Zakat. (4) And those who guard their nakedness. (5) Except with their wives or that which their right hand possesses - these are not blameworthy. (6) As for whoever seeks beyond that, these are the transgressors. (7) And those who take care of their trusts and their undertakings. (8) And those who preserve and maintain their prayers. (9) These are the heirs. (10) Those who inherit Al-Firdaus (Paradise) and they will be therein forever. (11)}
وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَنِ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا(63)وَالَّذِينَ يَبِيتُونَ لِرَبِّهِمْ سُجَّدًا وَقِيَامًا(64)وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا اصْرِفْ عَنَّا عَذَابَ جَهَنَّمَ إِنَّ عَذَابَهَا كَانَ غَرَامًا(65)إِنَّهَا سَاءَتْ مُسْتَقَرًّا وَمُقَامًا(66)وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا أَنْفَقُوا لَمْ يُسْرِفُوا وَلَمْ يَقْتُرُوا وَكَانَ بَيْنَ ذَلِكَ قَوَامًا(67)وَالَّذِينَ لَا يَدْعُونَ مَعَ اللَّهِ إِلَهًا ءَاخَرَ وَلَا يَقْتُلُونَ النَّفْسَ الَّتِي حَرَّمَ اللَّهُ إِلَّا بِالْحَقِّ وَلَا يَزْنُونَ وَمَنْ يَفْعَلْ ذَلِكَ يَلْقَ أَثَامًا(68)يُضَاعَفْ لَهُ الْعَذَابُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَيَخْلُدْ فِيهِ مُهَانًا(69)إِلَّا مَنْ تَابَ وَءَامَنَ وَعَمِلَ عَمَلًا صَالِحًا فَأُولَئِكَ يُبَدِّلُ اللَّهُ سَيِّئَاتِهِمْ حَسَنَاتٍ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ غَفُورًا رَحِيمًا(70)
{And the slaves of the Merciful who walk humbly on the earth and when addressed by the ignorant say only that which is right. (63) And those who spend the night prostrating and standing for their Lord. (64) And those who say, "Our Lord, keep away from us the punishment of hell-fire." Its punishment is without doubt total destruction. (65) It is an evil destination and place of residence. (66) And those who, when they spend, do not go to excess nor are they miserly - they are firmly in the middle between those two. (67) And those who call to no other along with Allah and do not kill the soul which Allah has sanctified except by right and they do not commit adultery. And whoever does that will meet a painful punishment. (68) His punishment will be multiplied on Qiyama and he will stay therein, debased. (69) Except for whoever repented, believed and acted righteously. For these, Allah will convert their sins into good deeds and Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.}
Whoever wants to know his true state, let him measure it against these verses. The presence of all of these attributes is a sure sign of good character while the absence of all or more of them is a sure sign of bad character. The presence of some and the absence of others shows a condition in between. In that case, it is of paramount importance to 1) preserve the ones which one possesses and 2) busy oneself with trying to acquire the rest.
The Prophet (sas) has also described the believer with many attributes and indicated with them the reality of good character. He (sas) even described the entire mission of his (sas) prophethood as "completing the aspects of good character".
Muslim and Bukhari:
"By the one in whose hand my soul is, no one of you has believed until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.""Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his guest. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him not annoy his neighbor. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak that which is good or keep quiet."